Peace,

Jeff

I spoke with a friend last night who was processing his thoughts after seeing pictures of Facebook friends who attended the Gay Christian Network (GCN) 2010 Conference that was just held in Nashville this past weekend.  Here is the message that I sent to him this morning after reflecting on his questions overnight.

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Hey, thanks for texting me last night.  Sorry I couldn't talk longer, but you've stayed on my mind and the whole subject of GCN. I will try to make some time to call again soon.

I just looked through two more GCN albums on Facebook.  A few things struck me this year:

1. GCN has grown.

2. A speaker like Tony Campolo and a musician like Derek Webb give GCN increased legitimacy.

3. The liturgical service held may be new (not sure) and something like that gives Catholics real affirmation that they don't get in their own church since they are probably denied communion if they are openly gay.

4. The presence of people like Wendy Gritter (do you know of her?) for bridge-building efforts will also be a catalyst for growth.  If you read Andrew Marin's book, you'll understand this more - I would say he and Wendy think very much alike from what I've read by both.

So I will continue to follow GCN as it continues to grow.  And this year more guys went that I've known from Xanga or Facebook, so there are faces that I know when I think of GCN now.  If I followed the advice and belief of certain others, I would not consider any of them Christian for attending or applying the label "gay Christian" even if some of those who attend are committed to celibacy.  But can I really judge them as not knowing Christ? 

I struggle with this, too.  If it were so easy and acceptable to be gay and Christian, even in a "Side A" relationship, why not just go for it?  Why go through all this struggle all these years?

Some of my general and random thoughts on that question are these:

1.  If I believe differently on some issues than others who profess to be Christian, is it therefore my place to judge whether they are even Christian?  I may agree to disagree on certain issues, whether same-sex relationships, divorce, abortion, etc., but it is God who knows their heart in terms of being a Christian believer.  And if they profess Christ and worship like anyone else that sits next to me in a pew, should I not affirm that and seek to encourage them as any Christian brother or sister, even while not feeling I have to believe the same way as they do on same-sex relationships as a Christian?

2.  If I over-focus on one issue, like whether same-sex relationships are okay as a Christian or not, do I miss what Christ may really be seeking to do in a particular person’s life?  Christians often over-focus on one issue and miss out on what Christ really wants us to do or say.  Just as one example, every week a group of guys in our Celebrate Recovery program go outside for a smoke between large group and small group.  Sometimes I’ll go hang out with them even though I don’t smoke.  Gasp!  Are they really Christian if they smoke?  Shouldn’t I avoid being in their presence?  Aren’t I affirming their smoking by being there?  Can I still worship with them?  (which brings out the question of the sin in anyone’s lives that isn’t as visible - “there is none righteous, no, not one”). 

3.  There’s going to be this tension as long as we’re alive, involving Christians who believe it’s okay to identify openly as gay, whether “Side A” which believes that monogamous same-sex relationships are okay, or “Side B” which believes celibacy is what God expects if one is same-sex attracted, or not identifying as either “Side A” or “Side B” but some other label but still same-sex attracted, and those who don’t experience same-sex attraction but still have opinions and beliefs about what is and isn’t right.  We can either draw lines and make judgments about their faith, or we can be engaged in dialogue and relationship and see where the Lord takes that.  As Andrew Marin’s book is so aptly titled, “Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community”.

No easy answers, my friend.  But let’s keep talking and processing and loving our friends and others who have attended the GCN conference this year.  Who knows what we might learn and gain from those relationships, and how we might be able to be involved in their lives as well?

Peace in Christ,

Jeff

This prayer was sent to members of our church Community Care Team to start off the new year.

I Hold Up My Life to You Now    by  Rev. Ted Loder

Patient God,
     the clock struck midnight
          and I partied with a strange sadness in my heart,
               confusion in my mind.

Now, I ask you
     to gather me,
          for I realize
               the storms of time have scattered me,
                    the furies of the year past have driven me,
                         many sorrows have scarred me,
               many accomplishments have disappointed me,
                    much activity has wearied me,
                          and fear has spooked me
                               into a hundred hiding places,
                                    one of which is pretended gaiety.

I'm sick of a string of "nice days."
What I want is passionate days,
     wondrous days,
          dangerous days,
               blessed days,
                    surprising days.
What I want is you!

Patient God, I hold up my life to you now,
     as much as I can,
          as high as I can,
               in this mysterious reach called prayer.
                  
Help me not to let my life slip away from me.
Come close, lest I wobble and fall short.
It is not days or years I seek from you,
     not infinity and enormity,
          but small things and moments of awareness,
               awareness that you are in what I am
                    and in what I have been indifferent to.

It is not new time I seek,
     but new eyes,
          a new heart,
               and you, always you.

O Patient God,
make something new in me,
     in this year,
          for you, for others,
               for the abundance of this life lived in your presence.

Amen.

Adapted from Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle,
Innisfree Press, Inc. 1984.

My third year anniversary of blogging on Xanga is coming up.  I love the community of men that I've met through here.  My life has been changed so much by knowing so many of you and being challenged in life and pursuing what God has for me to do.  It's been an amazing three years.  I look forward to many more ahead.

I should probably do one of those "three years in review" posts.  Hmmm...let me think about that.....Nah.  I'm just going to keep going forward and listening to God and sharing on here whatever comes to mind.

Jeff

I like this Covenant Eyes article on developing an accountability relationship:

http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2009/12/29/four-tips-on-developing-an-accountability-relationship/

Jeff