I just listened to an awesome (presumably controversial) song for the first time: “What Matters More” by Derek Webb. The “Live at Cornerstone” version moved me the most and reminded me why I miss Cornerstone so much. The second version is the original video. If you don’t focus on the one use of strong language to make his point about what matters most to us, it is a very powerful song about overfocusing on an issue like homosexuality when we are not concerned or doing much about other issues as Christians like we should be.

Peace in Christ,

Jeff

My goal this week is to watch this complete video of Pastor Ted Beasley's message on same sex attraction and the church.  I can tell it's a powerful video just after watching the first three minutes and from reading the "Pursue God" blog post of Karen K whom I greatly respect in her approach to communicating about homosexuality and Christianity.  The first 15 minutes are the pastor's message and the last 30 minutes or so are a panel discussion.  As Karen describes it:  "These are not testimonies of coming out of wild, drug abusing, promiscuous “lifestyles.” These are just three people pursuing God as they felt led. They admit still having same-sex attraction. The focus is not on changing sexual orientation, but on hearing from God and walking toward Him."

           http://www.gatewaychurch.com/media/2009/08/30/letsexpress-same-sex-aug-23-2009/

I've teared up twice when I've started to watch this because I expect it to be powerful and I sense that it is going to leave me dissatisfied with how the church in general and my own church specifically deals with this issue.  I plan to take some focused time to watch the complete video in the next day or two, and then I may comment again on here on what impressions it leaves me with.  Feel free to do the same after you watch his message.

Peace in Christ,

Jeff

This video is awesome. It gave me shivers and brought tears to my eyes. It's from "Ukraine's Got Talent."

From an article on it:  "What she depicts is love and war, set amidst the tu...rmoil of The Great Patriotic War, or as we call it in America, WWII. Ukraine was probably the area most devastated in the war, even more than Germany. It was a conflict that saw nearly one in four Ukrainians killed. A population of almost 42 million lost between 8 and 11 million people, depending on which estimate one references. Ukraine represented almost 20 percent of all the causalities suffered during WWII. And that was after Stalin had killed millions during the manufactured famines before the war. It to this day touches every Ukrainian. That's the context of war memory that Kseniya reaches out to."

In follow-up to my previous post and reference to Karen K's blog post entitled "Gay Students at Christian Colleges", Karen has some extensive comments after that post that deserve a read.  Click on to her post to read the comments at the end firsthand, but here are some excerpts that have struck me in particular that she wrote in a response to woman who had expressed her own philophical viewpoints on faith and sexuality:

It actually reminds me of something Tim Keller, pastor of  Redeemer Presbyterian Church wrote in an article entitled "Centrality of the Gospel." He writes, "Gospel renewal occurs when we keep from walking 'off-line' either to the right or to the left. The key for thinking out the implication of the gospel is to consider the gospel a 'third' way between two mistaken opposites. However, before we start we must realize that the gospel is not a half-way compromise between the two poles--it does not produce 'something in the middle,' but something different from both."

Where Keller might differ from you is that he sees balance as something more than the middle between two extremes. But an altogether different third way. Specifically, in regards to sexuality, he writes, "The secularist/pragmatist sees sex as merely biological and physical appetite. The moralist tends to see sex as dirty or at least a dangerous impulse that leads constantly to sin. But the gospel shows us that sexuality is to reflect the self-giving of Christ. He gave himself completely without conditions. So we are not to seek intimacy [and then try to] hold back control of our lives. If we give ourselves sexually we are to give ourselves legally, socially, personally--utterly. Sex only is to happen in a totally committed, permanent relationship of marriage."

If sex is primarily about release or attempts to meet personal needs--then balance between two extremes of over-sex or no sex makes sense. However, if sex is not primarily about release or personal needs, but giving up ourselves as Christ gave up himself--and the sexual union between two people is a mystical representation of that, then, we see a different dynamic at work. One that involves sacredness and the centrality of a life-long committed relationship.

On another note, I wonder how suffering fits into the concept of Polarized Thought Processing? You touched on it peripherally. That is, sometimes celibacy is a suffering of sorts that one undertakes for the greater good--thus Gandhi, Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, etc. I can also think of other instances where celibacy is simply imposed by life circumstances. For example, I know of an elderly woman in Russia who was never able to marry because she had a large red birth mark on her face and no one wanted her. This was not her desire to live a single, celibate life, it was simply the reality that was imposed on her. And having casual sex would have been a completely unwelcome and offensive suggestion to her.

Christian theology has a place for the reality of suffering. That is, sometimes, we choose to persevere through undesirable circumstances for the sake  of what is right and good. Celibacy is not the normal state of things. The majority of people all have an innate drive to couple with another person--physically and emotionally, and more than that to share our lives with someone. But there may be circumstances that prevent that. Not because one is living a polarized life, but because one has subjected their sexuality to the authority of Christ. So, I choose celibacy outside of heterosexual marriage, not because I want to be celibate, but because in doing so, I am upholding the sacredness of sex. That is, self-restraint becomes the greater good when sex is not available in its proper context. For more of my thoughts on the value of chastity/celibacy, see my post here: http://pursuegod.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/the-c-word/

And an excerpt in response to a young man’s comments who state that he “identified as gay my whole life and have only dated guys through high school and college. I recently accepted Christ as my Saviour and am in some confusion on what to do,” Karen wrote:

“Who we are is based in Who created us. Our Creator knows who we are because he made us. So, we find our identity by seeking the Creator. In my own life that means all my desires, plans etc are subordinated to Christ. Scripture says, "Seek first his Kingdom." Our life is not primarily about our sexuality. That is an important aspect to be sure. But who we are is more rooted in the reality of being the people of God. Scripture calls us a "kingdom of priests." That is to say, people who are set a part for the sacred purpose of serving God. So, what does it mean for you to serve God? What would it look like for you to find your identity as Servant of God? And what would that mean on a practical level in terms of the decisions you make for your life. By that I don't mean you need to become a pastor. Rather, how do you live for the Big Picture knowing that this life is short and its not primarily about finding self-gratification, but instead diving into this God-mission of making a difference in the world.

I think it starts with knowing who God is, and that can be as simple as setting aside time each day to seek God in prayer and ask him your questions. Journal them. Seek truth in Scripture. Talk to spiritually mature mentors. And over time these things become more clear.

You said you need more information than friends can provide, but I wasn't sure what kind of information per se. If you are looking for fellowship with some guys who are also processing their sexuality and faith, there is a private Facebook group for guys that Jeff S. who posted a comment earlier is a part of. He might be a good person for you to connect with.”

That invitation is open to any other Christian guys reading this who are looking for support, encouragement and accountability in your life as you seek to reconcile same sex attraction with Christian faith.  And if you are unsure about your relationship to God, feel free to contact me at carleton1958@gmail.com to dialogue.

Peace in Christ,

Jeff

One of my dear Christian brothers from the Accountability Brothers group sent me this message the night before last. He has expressed deep pangs of loneliness before. I'd like to ask any of my blog readers to prayerfully read it and pray for this brother, and then respond with any words of advice, wisdom or encouragement as you feel led.  (If you are a member of the AB group, you can either post your response here or there, but you don't need to post it in both.)

"I'm having a hard night tonight. It's 2:30 a.m. and I can’t sleep. After stepping away from video games for awhile, I find myself less distracted, and in their place loneliness has flooded in. I have tried to set more time aside for God, spending time in quiet before Him, yet in these first few days I have felt Him say nothing more than 'wait'. I am acutely aware of my heart’s desire to be loved and very frustrated because my head knows I already am. As I sit here in the night, I am left in a confusing place. Temptations of fantasy and masturbation continue to come at me, offering me the lie that through them I can feel loved. I hate them, yet I can't seem to get away from them without somehow distracting myself. No matter what I do, I also can’t seem to connect the truth from my head to my heart that God already loves me with an overwhelming love. My head gets it and believes it beyond a shadow of a doubt, but my heart can only see the reality of the moment and the feelings... loneliness. I haven't fallen tonight, but if I can’t stop these temptations or get away from them, I fear I may. Every time I turn away from the temptations, my loneliness keeps dragging them back into my face. My prayer is that God would meet my loneliness with His love so I can turn to Him instead of simple distractions to avoid falling into sin. Please pray for me."

Your prayers and responses will be much appreciated.

Peace in Christ,

Jeff